I really do not like this adulting thing
My first ever corporate internship is almost over, which got me into reflection mode. I can also use this opportunity to revive this almost-dead newsletter. I'll probably write a detailed essay about my internship experience sometime later.
Things seem very hard, more challenging than usual. I need to take care of every little thing, which makes it even more frustrating. The dermatologist I visited today said my woes resulted mainly from having spicy food, which made sense. I wonder if such a thing would have happened if I was at home. What made it worse was that I had to do every part of the process myself; finding a dermatologist, getting to the clinic, describing symptoms, and getting the medicine. If I were under the care of mother dear, she would have cooked me a nice meal, taken me to the doctor's, described my symptoms in vivid detail, and procured whatever medicine was required. All I had to do was follow her instructions and take the medication on time. And I would be good as new.
I need to make an effort to fix things if anything goes wrong; I need to call the landlord if the AC breaks down. I need to call plan ahead about where and what to eat. I need to buy toiletries and call housekeeping regularly, or else the room will be uninhabitable. On top of that, the rental agreement is subject to random modifications. It has not been the most memorable of stays in Chennai, as you may understand. Little things like those did not feel like a lot because mom would handle them gracefully. People make a big talk about growing up and being an adult. No, I don't want to be one. I've had enough of this! In short, I really do not like this adulting thing.
The moment I say the above, I also realize the futility of that train of thought. I cannot undo this path I've chosen in life, and I cannot run away from responsibilities forever. So, the most prudent thing to do, it would seem, would be to learn as much as I can from my experiences and pass them on. I don't know of any specific way to do that, but a helpful approach could be to document different experiences and learnings as they happen. My blog is an attempt in that direction.
It is also quite dumb to think that dear mother would be ever-present to solve my problems. Although, I think she would gladly volunteer to solve every problem I face. Looking back, it seems like she had a solution to every problem I faced and beyond. She is probably the wisest person I know, and it occurred to me that I should learn as much as I can from her about life. At this rate, I don't think I'll be able to keep a kid or, for that matter, a pet alive. I still cannot take proper care of myself. And I think that is hilarious. I know it is unfair to compare myself to someone who has double the life experience as me, but I cannot help but think about how she does everything effortlessly; no sick leave, no hesitation in doing her best work.
Sometimes I get asked about why I write my essays. I do it to remind myself of the experiences I'm going through and have gone through and in some cases, share my learnings to ease the sufferings of people following the path I took. We'll see how much I can learn and help others. Until then, dear mother is a clear winner.