it's good to know what's going on
Writing my thoughts down helps me calm down. In fact, making myself a cup of hot beverage and writing down my feelings and my outlook on the future makes me feel so much at peace; most other feelings don’t even come close. I call the whole process self-care journaling — writing down your thoughts as a form of self-care in your preferred medium.
You can write things down on paper, type them out, or record whatever you think (and transcribe it). The medium is unimportant — getting these thoughts out somewhere you can revisit is more important. If you are paranoid about someone else reading your entries, you can write in an online notebook and protect it with a password.
Perhaps talking to a therapist is a good alternative, but it seldom helps improve your handwriting. I write about things that are great and things that are going terribly wrong. The initial few days might lead you to think that the whole practice is quite silly but trust me, once you get the hang of it, the words will start flowing — do not care about the grammar, the spelling, or the length of the sentences; focus on writing whatever you feel. This newsletter is a form of a self-care journal. I write whatever, whenever (preferably once every two weeks), and whatever I am feeling. A longer string of thought makes it to my essays instead of this place.
You can probably already tell — I am not feeling the best right now, and this issue of The Windmill. I was thinking to myself — “Things are going great for you. Everything that you ever wished for is happening for you, slowly. Why are you not feeling great?” I don’t have a single answer. The tweet above encapsulates the feeling best. Living abroad is fun — everything works here, the place is beautiful, and they have great public transportation.
I love this place and will miss the city of Vienna once I leave the place. Despite its charm, or maybe because of it, I inevitably feel lonely some days. If only I could experience all these with a loved one. I wish my friends were here with me to play, run, and fool around.
My friends are graduating in four days. My sister will start her final year in her current school. Mom is growing older. Everyone I hold dear are probably sleeping, and for a good reason. Why should they be up this late at night? Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that on some days, it gets incredibly lonely, and when that happens, I write my thoughts down, which helps me feel better quite instantly. It also doesn’t mean that going back home will solve everything — I will get bored in a few weeks and start to miss being away. Such a tragic state of affairs.
Talking of self-care, I have finally mustered the courage to book tickets to get content for my Instagram. Yes, I’m talking about going outside the Vienna city limits to finally explore. Hopefully, the few weeks of exploration will take me on a journey where I learn more about myself — my likes and dislikes, get inspired by my surroundings and expand my horizons.
As you can see in the cover photo, I’m quite fascinated by the functioning of democracies around the world. I’d be honest here — I’ve not been to the Indian Parliament yet, but I totally plan to visit it once I’m back home. On my trip, I plan to visit the national assemblies of EU countries to see how democracies around the world function. Let’s see how that works out (if the tours are not in English, worse if they are not open when I’m there, then I’m out of luck).
Whenever I think about doing something good for the world through policies or innovations, it fills me with renewed hope. I get goosebumps — a sense of optimism that I can leave a mark, even if a small one will profoundly impact my children, their children, and countless others. Yes, practical issues include repaying loans, earning a livelihood, looking after your loved ones, and everything else under the Sun. But once all that is done, then what?
I won’t mind sitting in one of these chambers of power, formulating policies that can positively impact millions of people. Think about the Indian Parliament or the Tripura Vidhan Sabha (Tripura Legislative Assembly) — it would be so cool to walk the hallways of these buildings, have a nice cup of coffee, and deliberate on critical policy issues in some crammed-up corner office. That sounds fun to me. I genuinely think I can contribute positively, but that’s a daydream for another day.
For now, I’m excited to take the clean, high-speed trains, eat great food, dip my feet in beautiful lake water around Europe, and have lots of great coffee. Until next time. Bye! 👋