trusting other people
and a lovely week in Vienna
It’s 3 AM — a perfect time to listen to Taylor Swift’s Midnights (3am Edition). It also means a constant barrage of thoughts that keeps you on your feet. The Weather app says it’s 4 degrees outside currently, but I have my windows open because I can feel heat waves going through my body. It’s incredible how specific thoughts make you feel that way.
I wish I knew about everything. There are events I have no idea about, and it kills me. Thinking about these events makes me so anxious. I find it hard to reconcile my thoughts even after knowing the truth. I expect things to go a certain way, and when they do not, I imagine the worst of scenarios in my mind. The heart feels heavier then.
Trusting people you love is much easier — you take things for granted after a certain point, assuming their thoughts are in your best interests. But, when they let you down, you experience the worst feelings. It is as if there is some balancing act that is going on. Of course, the lucky ones may not experience this hurtful experience. I hope to be one of those lucky ones.
If you know me well, you will know about my love for doing things at the eleventh hour. In that spirit, I went to the Christmas markets here in Vienna on Christmas day. I am so glad that I went to these markets. I had a lovely time — I asked strangers to take photos of me, took a few photos myself, and walked around the city. Something is calming in observing a group of people going on about their evening.
People from all over the world flocked to these markets; some probably like me — trying to catch a glimpse of them before they vanish for a year. The weather was lovely as well, neither too cold to give me frostbite fears nor too hot to make walking around unpleasant.
I went to the Christmas market at Schönbrunn Palace, then to the one in City Hall Square (close to the Austrian Parliament), and finally to the Stephensplatz Christmas market. I thought of getting something for mom while in Stephensplatz and eventually came across a pair of beautiful scarf and hats. However, after finding out the price, I decided it was best to go to Nepal myself and get the scarf and hat. Yes, the scarf and the hat originated from Nepal.
Life is quite good at the moment. I wake up, make coffee, cook meals, and then clean the utensils. I spend my time talking to people back home or reading a book when I am not working on my university assignments. And on days I feel like venturing outside, I go to a cozy cafe, have a nice cup of coffee, and then wander around the city.
I don’t usually talk to anyone on my walks unless needed to. My Sony WF-1000XM3s is probably the best purchase I’ve ever made. I pop them in my ears, and the world seems calmer. I dance to countless songs in my mind, feel a wide range of emotions, appreciate this beautiful city and go on about my day. I wish I could continue doing that for as long as I live.
I realize my days here are limited, though. I won’t get all philosophical about living on borrowed time on Earth, but in some sense, this finiteness of my time here pushes me to go out of my room and see these magnificent structures outside. As I grow up, I will probably have more things to work on and more chores to take care of. So, I am living most days as if there is no tomorrow. That does not mean partying mindlessly or staying up needlessly.
“…there are only three things certain in life: death, taxes, and people trying to cheat on their taxes.” — Matt Parker in Humble Pi: A Comedy of Maths Errors. I recently finished reading the book, which made me appreciate engineers even more. To extrapolate the learnings from the book to my own life — mistakes and screwups are inevitable, but what I do after that matters a lot more. The book also talks about how maths mistakes can lead to disastrous consequences.
Sometimes things could go wrong for no fault of yours. For instance, someone might have a bad day and mess up certain things, like securing the airplane windshield using the wrong screws. It could have disastrous consequences for you as a passenger. It brings home the point that life is fleeting, and one must use it best while it lasts.
Humble Pi also has this interesting take on New Year’s resolutions — “So, if your New Year’s resolution was to not be late for things, you’re already way behind.”
You can find me elsewhere here. I also uploaded a few videos to my YouTube channel out of boredom. Please waste your time on them if you are bored. Here is the link to the channel. Thank you so much if you have read to this point. I wish you and your family a very Happy New Year! May the new year bring happiness and prosperity to your life. I hope it also brings a lot of rice to your life. Until next time. Bye! 👋